It’s not about the words as much as designing for their values.
Photo by David Sager on Unsplash
Gen Z is redefining online dating.
I was recently interviewing for a role at one of the big dating apps. Throughout the process, I was asked how I would write to resonate with Gen Z. I’d read up on the company and the industry and I knew it was a big concern. Gen Z is frustrated with dating apps and shifting their usage. As the biggest generation and one that includes ages 18 to 28, it’s a critical audience for dating apps. But there are big challenges to overcome.
First, there are the declining marriage and fertility rates worldwide. Then, there’s the political divide in the U.S. which has made it harder for men and women to connect. Gen Z is less worried than previous generations about being single and they’re pickier. They want to align with potential partners on a lot of issues before they even meet. They’re risk averse and have really high standards. Those who use dating apps feel that the quality interactions aren’t there, or that people aren’t as committed, so they get tired of looking and give up. At the same time, there’s a renewed interest in meeting people in person through hobbies and activities. (The one bright light of hope!)
So how can content design help? Given Gen Z’s complicated relationship with dating, maybe the offering also needs to change.
My approach has always been to ask how people are secretly hoping this experience will change their lives. I say “secretly” because these aren’t always things people are aware of or would admit to other people. We all go about our lives hoping certain things will happen but also worrying about other things happening. The gap between those things seems particularly large with Gen Z, which means a transformation needs to happen.
The transformation gap that content design can help bridge
Most transformations happen over time, moment by moment. If I’m going to help a dating app create some of those moments, I need to know what people want, show them it’s possible, and take steps to deliver it. I do that by first uncovering the universal truths that inform their expectations. Then I find out what they value and what they’re concerned about. Then align every experience with those values. For Gen Z especially, it also must be inclusive to everyone. The days of designing for the “average” user are over.
And in the dawn of an AI revolution, why not consider and explore something totally different? These same principles can be used to imagine fresh ways to meet their needs and exceed their expectations.
We’re all human beings.
My number one rule of content design is to respect the humanity of my audience. Gen Z, like every other generation, are human beings first. Life experiences — such as growing up, making a living, and falling in love — are universal. All generations have hopes, overcome challenges, raise children, and face death. Gen Z might have a unique view and experience of these events, and that’s the first place to start.
We crave experiences that are profoundly human, genuine, and trustworthy. We’re delighted when apps are smart or predictive and know what we want. We love when they integrate into our lives and feel like an extension of what we’re already thinking or doing. And when they manage to convey the warmth, humor, and realness of a good interaction, we become fans.
I like to think of every UX interaction like helping a good friend in a time of need. Listen when they need to be heard, ask questions when they need help figuring things out, smile and make them laugh when they need cheering up.
I focus on the Truth.
In my screenwriting program at UCLA, we were encouraged to write the Truth (with a big T). Let’s say you’re watching a TV show. Jim and Phil are leaving a Super Bowl party and Jim says his wife died in a car crash on Super Bowl Sunday. She was killed by a drunk driver who eventually went to prison. We got all the relevant info but it doesn’t convey how Jim is feeling.
What if Jim and Phil are leaving the same party and we see that Phil has had too much to drink. Phil tries to get behind the wheel of his car to drive home and Jim flies into a rage. They’re both shocked by his reaction and Jim breaks down and shares how guilty he feels that he wasn’t with his wife that day. It’s not about the details of what happened, it’s about the emotional truth behind it.
What are the universal truths of dating that transcend age, culture, or religion? Love, connection, safety, and belonging — these are things a dating app should strive to provide. But we also need to address their opposites — loneliness, loss, fear, and anxiety. But it’s a delicate balance. Can I people find love and connection while dispelling their fears and anxiety?
A comparison of using Venmo and Zelle to send money to a friend
I look at every experience through that lens to make sure the app is telling the truth. Is there an illusion of safety, or actual safety? Is there a promise of love, or real love? How can I create true connection and foster belonging? What features, interactions, and communications will support those goals? Which ones will detract from it? If I know the core needs of people using an app, I can prioritize those above smaller more granular needs.
Uploading photos, for example, is a critical step to using a dating app. But what concerns might people have? Could uploading photos compromise their safety? Could it make them feel judged, instead of belonging? Could it diminish their chances of finding love? If so, I need to address those realities and think about other paths to success.
It’s crucial to understand the emotional needs and concerns of an audience and how they think. Then we can find the best ways to fulfill those needs.
Most apps are global.
If an app is available in 140 countries and 60 languages, it needs to be usable by people in a myriad of cultures. Gen Z is only one way to segment an audience, and it may not be as relevant in some places as privacy, safety, or religion.
What we say is infinitely more important than how, when it comes to global audiences. I ask myself what questions or concerns people might have. What do they need to know right now? What can I save for later? What shouldn’t I save because it would compromise trust, safety, or comprehension? What should I leave out because it raises more questions than it answers? I look for potential dangers or traps that people could fall into and avoid them. Then I ask customer experience to write or add to an article to help people if I fail.
Inclusivity means making sure everyone, regardless of abilities or situation, can access and use the app. Everyone should feel that the app is for them or can easily be tailored to their specific situation. Gen Z has a much bigger awareness of and appreciation for inclusive experiences than previous generations. Even if they don’t personally need or use a feature, they’ll applaud you for including people. For a consumer app, it could mean designing for a lower level of tech savviness or accessibility — especially in emerging markets. It might mean providing an offline version so people can keep using it on the subway. Or adding settings to increase font sizes, turn off sounds, or control who sees what.
It’s a big generation.
The dating life of an 18-year-old is quite different from a 28-year-old. One is beginning their life as an adult. They don’t know what they want yet and aren’t looking for a serious relationship. The other will have more experience and could be deciding whether to get married or have children. Or they might already have kids, be divorced, and are getting back out there. Are they men, women, straight, gay, bi, cis, trans? There’s a range of needs and emotions to design for.
What they likely have in common are their values. How they see the world and how that view differs from previous generations. From my own observations, Gen Z values transparency, inclusion, and social responsibility. They’re digital natives who’ve grown up on social media. What their peers think is important, and their peer group extends beyond friends to influencers on TikTok, YouTube, and Twitch. Their community is global. It includes content creators, influencers, and celebrities who speak out on the issues they’re concerned about — like climate change and mental health.
Gen Z’s global values | GfK Consumer Life, February 2023
I can use Chat GPT to find out that Gen Z values authenticity, diversity, and creativity. They’re concerned about work-life balance and financial stability. They embrace technology but worry about screen fatigue and privacy. And they really want to make meaningful connections.
If the company making the dating app values those things too, we’re miles ahead. But it’s not enough to just say it, those values must be prioritized in the user experience. From my own experiences in tech companies, I know there’s often a constant tension between what the company wants and what customers want. When companies put making money above the needs of their customer, they eventually lose those customers. But if you actually change their lives for the better, they will happily pay.
“Be one with the force.”
Values aren’t constant. They’re variable and contextual, and not always predictable. To be confident that I can address any situation, I need to understand and feel what my audience is feeling. That means spending time in their mindset. I’ll read articles and books, spend time on apps they value, and stay up to date on the trends, conversations, and issues that matter. I’ll spend as much time with my audience in person as I can — whether in user testing, focus groups, or the wild. Most importantly, I’ll stay curious and open to new information.
When working for Dropbox, Facebook, and eBay, I met people all the time who wanted to talk about features I was working on. A few minutes after meeting them, they’d tell me everything about their experiences — good and bad. There’s nothing like hearing unsolicited feedback from real people! It’s timelier and more relevant than any research or journalism on the topic.
Solicited feedback works as well. When I wrote for college students at Chegg, I often conducted tone tests on sensitive topics and tried different approaches and language. I always learned new things about how they thought and felt by hearing their reactions to words I’d written.
Values drive interactions.
When connecting with Gen Z, it’s not about using their slang or referencing popular culture — though that can be fun in moderation. It’s about understanding their motivations and concerns, to design meaningful interactions. The words I choose are in service of that. They’re packed with as much authenticity, humanity, and value as I can provide.
Just as important as language is how the app behaves. The features we choose should be informed by our audience’s values and meet their expectations. Keep in mind that people live online and offline, and every interaction they have creates expectations.
From what I know so far, I’ll prioritize things like direct, real-time feedback, suggestions, and notifications. I’ll brainstorm interactive features that let them be creative and express themselves, while enriching their experience. I’ll find ways to personalize the experience, so they get exactly what they’re looking for. I’ll look for opportunities to instill a belonging and community. I’ll focus their time on quality over quantity. I’ll build in options to connect on the issues and voices that matter to them. Then I’ll add acknowledgment, assurances, and celebration in all the right places.
Ask the hard questions.
We know Gen Z is pickier, prone to “slow dating,” and more concerned with their well-being than being coupled up. But they still want meaningful connections. Are dating apps meeting their needs? If not, how should they evolve? Maybe we should think beyond photos as the primary means of attraction. Can we use AI to help mimic how people connect in real life? Is there a way to make it feel less transactional and more organic? Can it be more fun? Can we remove the anxiety? If success is measured by coupling, it’s statistically doomed to mostly fail. What if the primary outcome is self-discovery, learning who we are, and becoming a better, happier person?
Challenging basic assumptions and asking hard questions is the most important part of product design. We can’t be afraid to do it. It helps us focus on what matters. It prevents us from launching features that not only fail to connect but alienate our audience. It opens the door to new ideas and directions.
To sum it up, it’s about values.
Connecting with Gen Z means getting a deep understanding of their values, experiences, and expectations. It’s about more than following trends or using cultural references. It’s about addressing real needs in a way that aligns with what’s important to them.
I focus on universal human truths through their perspective and ask the hard question: Am I creating experiences that will change lives?
A content design approach for connecting with Gen Z was originally published in UX Collective on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
